Sleeping Beauty
by souken
Summary: Kaoru vows to help Kenshin fight his demons.


Title: Sleeping Beauty  
Author: Souken  
Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: Standard Disclaimers Apply  
Summary: Kaoru vows to help Kenshin fight his demons.  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

_Delusional _

Those eyes were never meant to be sad. When you first look at him, you see a silly and peaceful rurouni. But to really see Kenshin, you have to look at his eyes. Deep in those beautiful violet eyes you can see years of suffering and pain. And though I love those eyes, I can't stare into them for too long. I can see too much. I can see the painful storm that constantly churns in his mind. And it breaks my heart to think that he has to deal with that everyday. 

_I believed I could cure it all for you dear. _

Being with him this past year, I've come to love him deeply. And everyday this love grows deeper, seeing him smile and laugh while going though his daily routine of playing with the children and doing chores. Everything is so peaceful and I feel so content knowing that I'm not alone anymore. I have a family. I hope he feels the same too. But looking in his eyes shows me, that while he is happy with his new life, his old life is still causing him deep pain. He can never let go of his past, or his guilt. And it scares me to think that his past might haunt him for the rest of his life. I wish more than anything that I could relieve him of all of this. I would gladly suffer it all for him. 

_Coax or trick or drive or drag the demons from you. Make it right for you sleeping beauty. _

Everyone in this family of ours, Yahiko, Sanosuke, Megumi, Ayame and Suzume, we all love him greatly and try so hard to make his life better. And it works, to an extent. He loves the time he spends with us. He told me once, that being with us has been the one of the happiest times of his life. He feels that he finally belongs somewhere. But I know that it isn't enough. It isn't enough to save him from his pain. 

_Truly thought I could magically heal you. _

I pray to every god out there that I can have the power to help him. I used to think that if I made him laugh enough or showed him enough love, that he would finally be at peace. But I now know that it's going to take alot more than that. Alot more patience from all of us. And alot more understanding. 

_Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening. I'm failing miserably to rescue. Sleeping beauty. _

The battle is far from being over. But I'm going to fight for as long as it takes. Because I want to be with him for the rest of my life. I don't care the cost. I don't care how many times I'm put in danger during a battle or how much I hurt. It's all worth it. Kenshin is worth it. 

_Drunk on ego._

When Kenshin told us about Tomoe, I was jealous, I'll admit that. To me, she was all the things I was not. Why would Kenshin want me, after having someone like her? Megumi even told me that I'm no replacement for Tomoe. That hurt even more than anything. Eventually I came to realize, that even though I could not replace her, I could try to be something more. I could be more of a friend. More of a companion. 

_Truly thought I could make it right if I kissed you one more time to help you face the nightmare. _

Tonight I think of all these things. I can't sleep. As I walk along the dark dojo, everything is calm, but I feel a tenseness in the air. I stand in front of the door to Kenshin's room and can hear a slight movement. I knock and call his name softly, but there is no answer. Sowly and carefully, I open the door and peak in. He is still asleep, which suprises me, because usually he's a light sleeper. I go in and walk over to where he is laying. A closer look at his face shows that his dreams are not pleasent. 

_But you're far too poisoned for me. _

Kenshin starts to mumble and shiver. I watch as all his painful memories replay over and over again in his mind. He looks so fragile and I'm afraid he might break at any moment. Tears run down my face as I think of what to do to try to sooth him. 

_Such a fool to think that I could wake you from your slumber. That I could actually heal you. _

I run my fingers softly over his face, wiping away his tears, and call to him soothingly. One of my hands goes to smooth his hair while the other stays at his cheek. He has stopped thrashing, but I can tell the nightmare isn't over yet. 

_Sleeping beauty. Poisoned and hopeless._

Kenshin continues to cry out at the demons in his head, begging them to stop and leave him alone. His beautiful face shows nothing but pain. Every moment the gap in my heart grows deeper. 

_Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening. Failing miserably to find a way to comfort you._

I keep speaking to him, carefully coaxing him from his dream. I hear names being called out to in anger. Jin'eh.....Shishio.....Enishi...and so on, as he faces each one in battle. The anger turns to grief as he starts to sob, mumbling incoherently. He gets louder and louder until finally he screams out a name. My name. I sit in shock. 

_Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening. And hiding from some poisoned memory. _

He cries softly, repeating my name over and over. I don't want to wake him, he needs his sleep, but I have to stop this dream. I start to shake him lightly while saying his name. Finally he wakes, tears still streaming down his face. He's so scared. He looks up at me and I see relief wash over his face. I bring him to me gently and I hold him. He hugs me back and buries his face into my hair, still crying. 

_Poisoned and hopeless. _

He sees the tears in my eyes and concern on my face. "I'm sorry," he says, quickly trying to regain composure, "I'm so sorry for worrying you." Smiling at his selflessness, I tighten my hold on him a bit, I rub his back soothingly. "It's all right, Kenshin." I say, "It's okay, I'm here." I can feel him smile into my hair. "Thank you." he whispers, "Thank you for being with me." I smile and lean back to wipe away some of his tears. We stay like that for quite some time, both finding comfort in each other. 

_Sleeping beauty. _

I am determined to help him through this. 

Kenshin, I want to help you find your peace. 

~Owari~ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Let me know what you think! 

~Souken~ 


End file.
